Far Far away

by Eldrick Nolasco

The rise of modern technology such as phones, tablets, portable game consoles, and any gadgets that we can just put in our bags made every aspect of life changed. A lot of people are more present on social media accounts than to be physically present. Instead of hanging-out with friends they prefer to stay home and use their gadgets.

Social media platforms are the apps that most people use, almost every smartphone users have their own accounts, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, and many more. We use these apps to stay connected with our friends and family in order to chat, call, video call, post updates,and to share our photos so people who are connected with you can see them. This is when the rise of “Absent Presence” because whenever they meet face-to-face with their friends or family they tend to be more focused on their social media accounts to look for updates, chat with someone, or post anything. Sometimes, its hard to disturb them because it will just cause a conflict so some just prefer to go with it. Problem like this should be taken care off or else it will be a disaster that everyone might get into danger, some people already got an accident or even death because of focusing too much to their phones and getting hit a by car and even falling from a high place. It’s hard to be with someone with this kind of condition, its like they are so far far away from you even they are with you physically.

According to Fareek Zakaria, that “The internet is profoundly disrespectful of tradition, established order and hierarchy.” which says that everything that the internet or either the social media accounts causing to our traditions is disrespectful. Instead of focusing to traditions that is like for example currently it is being practiced, instead of enjoying the moment they just took pictures or videos and don’t participate much on it. Also, with having a meal, instead of praying before eating, its taking pictures first then post it on social media platforms and forget to pray.

We hope that someday people will wake-up from this nightmare that is causing a lot of problem and that they may be aware of their surroundings especially whenever they are with people like friends and family to focus on having a good conversation rather than focusing on the phone’s screen.

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/240290276_The_challenge_of_absent_presence

Take A Break, Take A Breath

by: Collado, Charlotte Trixie

We know that internet became essential in this world and it became a tool in which rapidly transforming how we work, communicate, access information, and educate our children. Artificial intelligence, the internet of things, and blockchain can be powerful tools for solving the world’s most difficult challenges.

Uses of the Internet in our daily life is depending on desires and goals. Activities in our daily life are decided after the use of the Internet. The Internet innovated our daily life. We spend lots of time on the Web.

Positive use of the Internet makes our lives easy and simple. The Internet provides us useful data, information, and knowledge for personal, social and economic development and it is up to us to utilize our time on the world wide web in a productive manner. The Internet is a revolution in information technology.

But, in every action that we take, we should consider taking a break and breath. Everything that is to much for us is a bad thing even good things.

Too much exercise? You will get overtrained.
Too much love? You will smother people.
Too much work? You will burn out.
Too much food? You will get fat.
Too much water? You will die.

What more if too much internet we consume in our everyday life.

“Taking a break from anything can provide needed time for critical reflection,” says Dr. Jeremy Rezmovitz, a family physician at Sunnybrook. “We can enhance our lives and learning through real world experiences, and by taking the time to think and reflect on our feelings.”

I came to think that became a disconnect for a while is not a bad thing for us, At the end of the day, the internet is just a tool. However, some of us think it’s everything. You’ll probably look back and reflect on the time you spent with your family or friends or the memories you made when you were traveling or how much you enjoyed your work. I’m pretty confident that, in years from now, I will not look back and regret that I didn’t spend enough time on the internet. Your life is more than just a size box tool with a screen on it but it can be a tool in finding good memories if you will be used it properly

Links:

https://www.quora.com/What-are-the-benefits-of-disconnecting-yourself-from-the-internet-technology

Why taking a break from social media can be good for your health

Wanted: Acceptance

As a person who’s always scared and unsure, I find social media as a way to express myself more and show people what I could offer. Most times, I feel incapable of showing my true self in the real world. And if the real world could offer likes and dislikes, I would probably get a lot of dislikes. I care about what people say and how they see me as an individual. There are some things that I can’t openly tell the world so I tend to let it out on the virtual world. This is where I started engaging in twitter and having a fan account. More than the fangirling itself with my community, I feel accepted in a way that, this is where I usually speak my mind up and show people who I really am without the fear of being judge. Everyone is anonymous, you don’t get to see their real faces, there are no certain physical judgement, everyone focuses on the content you offer and how you engage and make friends with people. I feel free and accepted and it is something that made me feel I was actually part of something.

But as time goes by, I find myself drowning in the depths of the virtual world. I couldn’t get enough of it, I was crazy about it. I realized that it was eating my system up and my friends actually calls me out on how I tend to be ‘absent presence.’ They would call me out whenever we hang out because I was busy tweeting, replying to direct messages and talking to my friends online. I was very vocal on what I feel about the comfort I get in the virtual world and it seems like I was putting their efforts and actual presence as a friend aside. Then it hit me, I was being unfair. I’m with them but I’m mentally and emotionally engaged to somewhere else. At first, I was telling myself that it’s okay, it’s not my problem that I feel like a nobody in our circle and I’m someone in my community online. And if given a chance, I will choose the latter because that’s where I feel like myself most. But am I really a nobody in real life or am I just shutting people out because I was too afraid and never gave them the chance to know what’s inside me?

The thing is, I never felt accepted because I never gave them a chance to know me and I quickly assumed that I would never be accepted for who I am. So slowly, I tried to have an actual conversations with some of my friends, one-by-one, and baby steps. And it was actually heart-warming that you get that certain satisfaction and acceptance just by a hug or a smile. It is something that the virtual world can’t offer, the physical touch, the intimacy that only the heart can feel. That you don’t need certain group of words and sentences to feel like you belong and you are a somebody.

I still engage myself with my online friends because they’re real friends. They’re not just merely virtual friends, they exist, and they’re real. But this time, I don’t solely depend on them on how I see myself. I’ve been more open and vocal to my friends in the real world and I have realized that truthfully speaking, I don’t always need to rely on somebody on how I see myself and continuously battle with myself whether I’m acceptable in the eyes of many.

The social media can be overwhelming at times but let us not forget that acceptance starts within us and when you actually started accepting, liking, and loving yourself in this chaotic generation wherein everyone says a lot about everything, no one can disturb your peace of mind and that’s something we need.

— Canlas, Xandra Vir Gabrielle B.

WANNABE

The world is changing rapidly, it is continuously adapting with the technological advancement that the modern world has today. The rise of social media became one of the factors that shapes one’s attitude and behavior. We are all very much aware that there are a lot of glorious things that can be seen online (that not everyone can have or achieve), which results to insecurities. That basically became one of the many reasons why some people tend to be wannabes.

“I wannabe like this”, “I wannabe like her/him”. The wannabes, a person/people who tries to be like someone else in order to fit in with a particular group of people.

According to Gallinari (2017), Humans are social creatures by nature. As social creatures, comparison to others is inevitable. People use social comparisons to validate their own lives, sometimes unknowingly. And, there I realized, that in our generation today, we are living our lives with the existence of social media wherein, day by day it is being filled with comparisons, judgments and rejections and because of that we tend to be someone that we’re not. We seek validation and acceptance that we have been longing through others, well in fact we should be seeking it within ourselves. And whether we deny it or not, our way of achieving it is through imitation, we imitate others so that we can present ourselves to be seen as a part of the accepted society. It is quite sad to think that a lot of people couldn’t be the best version of their selves because of the fear that people might not ‘like’ who they are or what they share and post online.

That’s why I couldn’t agree more with what Kaitlyn Guay said in her blog that “people today find themselves creating two completely different personas: one for online, one for off. This Division of Self splits the mind, creating a state of uneasiness, one where we never quite feel grounded in our own person…we only see the instant success, and therefore, begin to believe that we, as mere mortals, could never achieve such greatness. (When, in fact, there is magic hidden within all of us.)” Because I myself, went through the exact same thing. I once created my own persona online, I was once a wannabe. Growing up being compared to my cousins or friends, being judged by so many eyes and ridiculed by so many mouths was one of the most painful part of my life. I started seeking validation within others, boys adding me as a friend or liking my photos became my basis of being beautiful. I remembered turning down my posts with the least number of likes (trying to fit in), posting filtered/edited photos and even stuffed my undershirt with socks to make it look like I have a big chest so that boys will like me because I was teased for being flat chested back then. Through social media I found my ‘way out’ or should I say I “thought” I found my way out. I tried so hard wanting everyone’s attention but ended up being mentally and emotionally wrecked. I figured that I was a different person behind the screen, I have never realized that I have my own person in a work in progress. I’ve been in a rough patch to be honest but how did I overcome it? I started seeking validation within myself, set my own standards and most importantly I detached myself from toxicity and surround myself with people who really cares and matters.

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson

There’s nothing wrong with wanting and/or admiring someone, we all have our differences, different purpose, mission, struggles and battles. There will be a point in our lives where we will go through this phase and I think it’s totally normal, you just got to help and lift yourself up. If there’s an advice that I could give that is, acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses because through that you will be able to know what you’re capable of and be able to love your flaws. Let us not hide behind the screens instead let’s go out and be the BEST VERSION OF OURSELVES.

“Don’t use Social media to impress people, use it to impact people.”
David Willis

Gallinari, Elizabeth (2017). “Likes” for Self-love? The Effects of Social Media on Self-perception: The Undergraduate Review

https://www.cmasas.org/online-vs-offline-self-who-real-you

Mask Up

By: Patricia Suyat, February 13, 2020.

Just as how we try to put up a façade whenever we get out of the comfort of our own homes, we also try to hide our true selves online. Of course, out of the number of followers or friends we have in the different social media platforms, only a small amount get to see us on a daily basis which creates an avenue for everyone to be pretentious.

I have a close relative whom I occasionally hang out with. She’s very active in social media and wouldn’t let a day pass without updating her Instagram account. Every time I view her Instagram stories or her actual feed, I’d see photos and videos of her in various places, travelling every now and then. Later on, I noticed she’s been uploading photos and videos of our travel from months ago. There was also a time when she showed me an edited photo of her where she seems a little bit slimmer than the original one. In full honesty, I told her that I didn’t notice any difference and that it doesn’t really matter at all but she just continued editing it before uploading the photo.

Aside from the physical mask we put up as we open our social media accounts, just like how my relative has, we also have another mask to cover up our emotions. Admit it, almost everyone in social media pretends to be happy. Maybe we’re just fighting off the sadness because we don’t want other people seeing our fragility or maybe we’re trying to show others that we’re having a perfect life? People have been seeking validation through social media and it is becoming toxic. Extremely toxic.

Social media serves as people’s escape from reality. It is where people actually get notices far more than how they actually do in real life. There are multiple factors that might actually be affecting our social media selves. Probably because anything published online could already be used against you no matter how fast we delete it, or maybe because we’re only too conscious of ourselves, or maybe we humans are just really jealous in nature. Whatever it is that might be causing us to create this mask we’re hiding from, it is unhealthy and it might probably cause other people’s insecurities too—a butterfly effect.

I’m glad that social media nowadays has been more “open” to issues that used to be socially unacceptable such as the LGBTQ+ community, body empowerment, women empowerment, sex workers, mental health and the like. However, some people go off the fence and straight up blurt out everything on social media and sadly, this act oftentimes do more harm than good (i.e. posting graphic images in social media in hope for clout). Having a social media account takes so much responsibility and we must learn how to manage them properly so as to avoid creating further damage to this already-damaged society.

Altered Perception of Reality

by Ellijah Joanna Coloma

Social media has altered the way we perceive reality. Our world has been narrowed down in to the four corners of our phones. There’s no doubt that these things have made our life easier and more convenient. But most of the time, these are the same things that become our basis of reality. Nowadays, impressions are often created by what is being displayed on someone’s profile. So, most people display their best ‘self’, as unflawed as possible, just to leave a good impression. According to Sunstrum (2018), we are conditioned to project only our best, albeit unrealistic, selves on our social media profiles as a modern way of virtually keeping up with the Joneses. Some are aware and have accepted this concept. And, I wonder why only few ones ask what’s real and what’s not.

We’ve created a digital world where we’re our own ‘producers’ aiming to present a good show to people. At the same time, we are the protagonist who always portray an admirable role. Posts and photos are filtered according to the identity we wanted to project. Just like actors, we also portray different roles as we build different personas in every platform we belong to. Most of us do not stick to one but maintain traces of ourselves on each. I understand that some people do this for self-expression, but most people do it for validation. As the ‘show’ goes on, they feel glad to welcome their viewers whom they call as ‘followers’. They maintain a good ‘story’, a reputation, just to keep these people watching them. Of course, various shows are being catered. Some have millions of audiences, while some just have enough. While these people are watching, some leave their ‘reviews’ which might fall under ‘compliment’, ‘criticism’, or ‘insult’. And ‘producers’ have different kinds of response to these comments. Some go out, take a peek at others’ ‘shows’, and compare it with theirs. With the emergence of so many different types of social media, platforms for social comparison are continuing to expand. Instead of just being able to compare oneself to a person standing in the same room, there are now many social media outlets to achieve such comparison with millions of people (Gallinari, 2017). People use social comparisons to validate their own lives, sometimes unknowingly. Comparing the self with others is a pervasive social phenomenon, as stated by Suls, Martin, and Wheeler (2002), and is very prevalent in society. With that, some take it negatively that they end up feeling bad and insecure about themselves. It defined them more than anything else. It seemed like a validation of worth and existence. By then, we don’t realize that we are too pressured to make a ‘show’ a reality, when it is quite impossible.

I’d be lying if I if I say that I didn’t go through that phase. I have wanted to put up a good show, projecting an admirable image. For once, I aimed for people’s nice ‘reviews’ and I felt good when they did leave one. But then I realized that my worth should not be defined by the reality I created in social media. I don’t want to live through people’s validation. Hence, I maintained a private ‘show’ and offered it only to my close ties. I shared my digital self to those whom I know personally. I detached myself from unnecessary things. With that, I feel better now that I’m limitedly extending myself online.

More than actors, we are also the writers of our own stories. We’re the ones who decide where we would rely our reality. At the end of the day, the choice is still ours. But then let me ask you these: When you’re just by yourself and your phone is turned off, do you still find the world amusing? Do still prefer the reality you built in the physical world? When the lights are off, when no ones watching, when the show’s over, who are you really? What’s your perception of reality?

Gallinari, Elizabeth (2017). “Likes” for Self-Love? The Effects of Social Media on Self-Perception. Undergraduate Review, 13, 100-105.

Sunstrum, K. (2018, July 8). How Social Media Affects Our Self-Perception. Retrieved from https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-social-media-affects-our-self-perception/

To connect or disconnect?

Sometimes I wish I was born in the days when there was no internet and mobile phones. I wonder what life is like without needing to depend so much on technology and just being able to do things on your own capacity. Because as we can see with our generation now, almost everyone is holding their phones 24/7. According to Emarsys (2019), there are 3.5 billion social media users around the world that is continuously growing and it is about 45% of the current world population. People spending most of the time scrolling without realizing that the time that they should be spending with their family and friends and their life in general, is being taken away by their addiction to technology. Though, I myself can’t deny that I’m part of that generation. I only wish to not depend on technology but in reality, I know I can’t, especially in today’s modern world where almost everything can be seen and done using technology just like how I am writing this blog now.

Have we realize how being connected to technology 24/7 is affecting our ability to connect with our lives and the people around us? Modern technology enables us to connect to anyone in the world whenever we want. A film called “Disconnect” challenges us to think about whether or not we are really more connected to each other or more alone since human interaction decreases the more technology increases (Rogette Harris, 2013). Technology makes everything so easy that instead of going outside to meet new people, there are now plenty of dating apps where you can find thousands of people with the click of a finger. We spend too much time isolating ourselves and disconnecting from the real world in order to maintain the perception of being connected.

Can you imagine that this would be a thing now? (refer to the photo below)

This just means that even we are out with our friends or family, our eyes and hands are still glued on our phones, not wanting to let it go without a specific reason. I have a sister that has a lot of followers on Instagram and whenever I am with her, inside or outside of the house, she’s always scrolling through her phone and always out of this world. Whenever I am speaking to her, she’s not focused and always tend to ask to repeat what I said because she is too preoccupied with her phone. Also, whenever she will post something on her social media, she would first ask me if it looks good, does people will like it, or sometimes she would tell me to like it as well. And when she’s not on her phone, she’s just in bed, watching Netflix all day. It’s sad to admit but I can see that she has a lethargic lifestyle. In result, she’s diagnosed with depression. According to Zaheer Hussain and Mark Griffiths (2018), young people can develop an addiction to social media through poor sleep, poor self-esteem and potentially poor mental health. It worries me that she might be depending her value and worth with the feedback that she’s getting from the people on social media that it affected her mental health.

It is scary how technology can also affect us mentally and it is scarier that it is affecting us negatively without even realizing it. The question that is going around my mind right now is that how many times do we have to talk about the negative effects of new media but still doesn’t change our habits about it? Who is really the one responsible for this? Is it the technology’s fault or its users? When will we find the answer? When will the problem be solved? Does anyone know?

WHO ARE WE?

Who are we? That is the question lingers to my mind every time I browse the internet, are we the real person behind it? Or is it just a representation who wants us to show to the digital users?

The internet has big impact to us because we are the generation who gives all ourselves to the internet; we are the generation who loves to connect through our social media accounts such as facebook, twitter, instagram, snap chat, and many more. We love to post what the luxury things we buy, what are the different places we visit, what are the foods we eat and how we spent our day. but how can we know if it’s their real identity or just their digital identity just to gain likes or to gain shares on their social media accounts.

Image result for pictures of social media

Many people create new self through their social media accounts. They tend to make an identity that is not their real identity in the real world; they made a new personality just to be fit on their digital self. Social media can be an outlet or tool to be anonymously that has a positive and negative side, positive in a way that you can share, post, and view like a benign– who share too personal things about oneself to be more helpful or courteous. But someone use this anonymous power to attack other people, to bash other people and to hate other even if they don’t know they harm someones feeling.

So they change their identity and their aspect of life on the digital self, and now the question start to raise “who are we” are we the real self online or just a representation to your digital self. You will feel that is there anyone out there that you can trust when there is anonymity on the internet, is anyone there who is real. And you start questioning yourself if the person I am talking on my social media is the real person on real life. Like in some dating app even though there’s a bio and pictures on their how can you be so sure that there is the person behind it. Example cat fishing, we all knows that is prevalent on our generation, where this kind of relationship last to the people of is long distance to each other but how if they met on the real life, they will question their self now, like how this person online I am talking with is not the same person on real life. So, who are we? And sometimes you will ask yourself too, am I the real person on my social media accounts or just a self-presentation.

We tend to believed easily on what we see online but we didn’t notice that even ourselves is not the real person on real life. Yes, we are part of the digital age and internet but it is not necessary to change our identity just to gain likes, shares and views to be fit on what we call social standards. We are unique in our own way so don’t let the social media control you; you should be the one who controls the social media. BE YOU, STAY YOU.

Because, “The Greatest person in the world who can ever exist is you” –Joseph Mercado

REFERENCE:

Guay, K., (Dec.8), Online vs. Offline self: who is the real you, Lake Oswego, USA, https://www.cmasas.org/online-vs-offline-self-who-real-you

Gonzales, Aliciarose A.

Privacy As a Profession

by: Shamira Cruz

Disclaimer: This is an open-ended blog write-up

If there’s one thing that social media has taught us, it is the concept of having multiple realities. That certain things can exist even though it seemed impossible to fathom. One of the many concepts of such realities is the concept of public and private self. According to Tunnel (1984), self-concept originated back in early social interaction. Such self-image is constructed depending on how the individual embodies the significant other person’s reaction of him or her. But in the postmodern era, social psychologists wrote about the concept of “saturated self.” The concept of “saturated self” is in reference to the characteristics of the postmodern era: fragmentation, incoherence, instability, and multiple realities. (Wilson, 2008). The study of such concept was made by Kenneth J. Gergen, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Swarthmore College. The characteristics mentioned were in no doubt the best picture to describe the people of today. The people more commonly called “us.” Hence, the postmodern people. Bombarded by wide range of communications technology, another concept has been introduced. Its the concept of “public self.” Among all generations, its the digital natives, the “Gen Z”, who are most guilty about it. “Members of Gen Z—loosely, people born from 1995 to 2010— are true digital natives: from earliest youth, they have been exposed to the internet, to social networks, and to mobile systems.” (Hoefel and Francis, 2018) But the presence of the said concepts, the private and public self, do entail the absence of what we call “privacy?” Or will the reconstruction of such question will pave way to a better answer and even a better understanding. Is there even a need to have such concepts of selves? Or we just need to know where to draw the line?

Taking it on a more personal level, I have encountered and experienced the dilemma brought by having multiple concepts of self. As part of the guilty generation and as a Communication student, both at hand, it seems that having an online persona is a must-have. What makes it the hardest? When you are exactly a person who values privacy most, but is being pressured to drop such concept. Lines are really blurring. Imagine waking up, ending the day going to bed exposed to a lot of influencers- celebrities, small and big scale vloggers and bloggers of different types. How could one not be tempted to portray a public identity when everyone seems to be establishing their own? Take for instance and to give specifics are the beauty and travel bloggers and vloggers. They are being paid for their highly curated feeds across all their social media that may have a huge influence on the audience they are catering. But on the ends of the people being exposed on such portrayals, does it do any good? Or it just produces a world full of portrayals?

The questions stated are not meant to be answered, but are meant to be pondered upon with the aid of different life standings. Establishing whatever kind of image, may be it public or private, may be a profession for some. But we have our own different kinds of profession. As for me, privacy is my own kind of profession. Something I will continuously work hard for. How about you, what’s yours?

The Struggle is Real

By: Chin Marinas

Online world is complicated. People might judge you from the way you look, pose or even the way you put on those captions. It’s hard because you can’t tell who’s the real ones and not. Yes, it helps us a lot in our communication, engaging with other people, giving us entertainment based on our own interest, but how about ourselves? Who are we really portraying; real self or online self?

There is no certain name for communicating and creating community via the Internet. The use of virtual, online, real life, offline, appear to aggrandize the classification when in reality they do the exact opposite, narrowing the definition of what we must accept as simply expanded communities (Michalk, 2013).

Due to different forms of online human interaction, and some needs the involvement of internet, it somehow enables new forms of imitation There is undeniably a difference between talking to someone through Twitter direct messages and talking to them personally. You might even prefer one over the other. The internet enables new forms of imitation. The difference, however, does not establish two levels of reality. One is no more real than the other. It is not that you’re having a truly real conversation when you’re sitting with the person but not when you’re texting, emailing, or handwriting letters (Zach, 2018).

This once happened to me before. I’m really hooked in using my Facebook and Instagram account. There’s a point where I post eeeeverything, including my unfiltered photos, what I eat in day, what keeps me so busy, and even my non-sense status. Me being so focused and undisturbed by social media. Last Christmas, my mother got mad because while we’re on our Christmas Party / Reunion, I’m just tucked at the corner while holding my phone and scrolling my social media accounts. She would always notice my attitude being so concentrated with my cellphone.

Another story that I can share to you. Back then, I was elected as the President of our Student Council in our school. Surprisingly, I gained more votes than my opponent which is my childhood friend. In the middle of my term, I am hearing gossips like “She won because she has many likers on Facebook!” And that made me pause. Am I really the president they voted? Or just the president-wanna-be they see on Facebook? Did I really win just because I’m active in the online world? Do I really deserve this position? This story made me realize that not everyone in your virtual world is genuine in real life. Sometimes, it is us who has a problem and not them. I made everything so complicated and revolved my life to social media. Yes, we might be more comfortable and unrestricted in expressing our ideas and opinions online, but let us always remember that there is a world OUT there.

Why don’t we try to reconnect with the people around us and disconnect with our online world?

REFERENCES:

Michalk, A. (2013). The difference between online & real life community? Retrieved from https://quiip.com.au/is-there-a-definitive-difference-between-online-and-real-life-community/

Zach. (2018). On the Distinction between Online Life and Real Life retrieved from https://thevimblog.com/2018/07/24/online-life-and-real-life/