The world is changing rapidly, it is continuously adapting with the technological advancement that the modern world has today. The rise of social media became one of the factors that shapes one’s attitude and behavior. We are all very much aware that there are a lot of glorious things that can be seen online (that not everyone can have or achieve), which results to insecurities. That basically became one of the many reasons why some people tend to be wannabes.
“I wannabe like this”, “I wannabe like her/him”. The wannabes, a person/people who tries to be like someone else in order to fit in with a particular group of people.
According to Gallinari (2017), Humans are social creatures by nature. As social creatures, comparison to others is inevitable. People use social comparisons to validate their own lives, sometimes unknowingly. And, there I realized, that in our generation today, we are living our lives with the existence of social media wherein, day by day it is being filled with comparisons, judgments and rejections and because of that we tend to be someone that we’re not. We seek validation and acceptance that we have been longing through others, well in fact we should be seeking it within ourselves. And whether we deny it or not, our way of achieving it is through imitation, we imitate others so that we can present ourselves to be seen as a part of the accepted society. It is quite sad to think that a lot of people couldn’t be the best version of their selves because of the fear that people might not ‘like’ who they are or what they share and post online.
That’s why I couldn’t agree more with what Kaitlyn Guay said in her blog that “people today find themselves creating two completely different personas: one for online, one for off. This Division of Self splits the mind, creating a state of uneasiness, one where we never quite feel grounded in our own person…we only see the instant success, and therefore, begin to believe that we, as mere mortals, could never achieve such greatness. (When, in fact, there is magic hidden within all of us.)” Because I myself, went through the exact same thing. I once created my own persona online, I was once a wannabe. Growing up being compared to my cousins or friends, being judged by so many eyes and ridiculed by so many mouths was one of the most painful part of my life. I started seeking validation within others, boys adding me as a friend or liking my photos became my basis of being beautiful. I remembered turning down my posts with the least number of likes (trying to fit in), posting filtered/edited photos and even stuffed my undershirt with socks to make it look like I have a big chest so that boys will like me because I was teased for being flat chested back then. Through social media I found my ‘way out’ or should I say I “thought” I found my way out. I tried so hard wanting everyone’s attention but ended up being mentally and emotionally wrecked. I figured that I was a different person behind the screen, I have never realized that I have my own person in a work in progress. I’ve been in a rough patch to be honest but how did I overcome it? I started seeking validation within myself, set my own standards and most importantly I detached myself from toxicity and surround myself with people who really cares and matters.
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
There’s nothing wrong with wanting and/or admiring someone, we all have our differences, different purpose, mission, struggles and battles. There will be a point in our lives where we will go through this phase and I think it’s totally normal, you just got to help and lift yourself up. If there’s an advice that I could give that is, acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses because through that you will be able to know what you’re capable of and be able to love your flaws. Let us not hide behind the screens instead let’s go out and be the BEST VERSION OF OURSELVES.
“Don’t use Social media to impress people, use it to impact people.”
David Willis
Gallinari, Elizabeth (2017). “Likes” for Self-love? The Effects of Social Media on Self-perception: The Undergraduate Review
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