by Ellijah Joanna Coloma
Social media has altered the way we perceive reality. Our world has been narrowed down in to the four corners of our phones. There’s no doubt that these things have made our life easier and more convenient. But most of the time, these are the same things that become our basis of reality. Nowadays, impressions are often created by what is being displayed on someone’s profile. So, most people display their best ‘self’, as unflawed as possible, just to leave a good impression. According to Sunstrum (2018), we are conditioned to project only our best, albeit unrealistic, selves on our social media profiles as a modern way of virtually keeping up with the Joneses. Some are aware and have accepted this concept. And, I wonder why only few ones ask what’s real and what’s not.
We’ve created a digital world where we’re our own ‘producers’ aiming to present a good show to people. At the same time, we are the protagonist who always portray an admirable role. Posts and photos are filtered according to the identity we wanted to project. Just like actors, we also portray different roles as we build different personas in every platform we belong to. Most of us do not stick to one but maintain traces of ourselves on each. I understand that some people do this for self-expression, but most people do it for validation. As the ‘show’ goes on, they feel glad to welcome their viewers whom they call as ‘followers’. They maintain a good ‘story’, a reputation, just to keep these people watching them. Of course, various shows are being catered. Some have millions of audiences, while some just have enough. While these people are watching, some leave their ‘reviews’ which might fall under ‘compliment’, ‘criticism’, or ‘insult’. And ‘producers’ have different kinds of response to these comments. Some go out, take a peek at others’ ‘shows’, and compare it with theirs. With the emergence of so many different types of social media, platforms for social comparison are continuing to expand. Instead of just being able to compare oneself to a person standing in the same room, there are now many social media outlets to achieve such comparison with millions of people (Gallinari, 2017). People use social comparisons to validate their own lives, sometimes unknowingly. Comparing the self with others is a pervasive social phenomenon, as stated by Suls, Martin, and Wheeler (2002), and is very prevalent in society. With that, some take it negatively that they end up feeling bad and insecure about themselves. It defined them more than anything else. It seemed like a validation of worth and existence. By then, we don’t realize that we are too pressured to make a ‘show’ a reality, when it is quite impossible.
I’d be lying if I if I say that I didn’t go through that phase. I have wanted to put up a good show, projecting an admirable image. For once, I aimed for people’s nice ‘reviews’ and I felt good when they did leave one. But then I realized that my worth should not be defined by the reality I created in social media. I don’t want to live through people’s validation. Hence, I maintained a private ‘show’ and offered it only to my close ties. I shared my digital self to those whom I know personally. I detached myself from unnecessary things. With that, I feel better now that I’m limitedly extending myself online.
More than actors, we are also the writers of our own stories. We’re the ones who decide where we would rely our reality. At the end of the day, the choice is still ours. But then let me ask you these: When you’re just by yourself and your phone is turned off, do you still find the world amusing? Do still prefer the reality you built in the physical world? When the lights are off, when no ones watching, when the show’s over, who are you really? What’s your perception of reality?
Gallinari, Elizabeth (2017). “Likes” for Self-Love? The Effects of Social Media on Self-Perception. Undergraduate Review, 13, 100-105.
Sunstrum, K. (2018, July 8). How Social Media Affects Our Self-Perception. Retrieved from https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-social-media-affects-our-self-perception/
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